I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
