At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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