she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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