if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
