im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
you told grandpa to call you daddy
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Randomize
