Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
We had to coat check the pizza.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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