So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
