I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
