I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
