:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
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