hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
