Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Randomize
