therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
