i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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