it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
