so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Randomize
