your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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