if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I deem her datable let the dance of attraction commence
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize