So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
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My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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