She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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