i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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