don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
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