I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
