I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I'm eating all of the evidence.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I told him I was on my period but he says "I'm a doctor, you think I can't handle blood?" And just went for it. Jackpot
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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