I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
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