and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
my poor anus
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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