oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize