These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
