remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
we're so committed to being not committed
Randomize
