just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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