I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
