Buhtt sex?
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Randomize
