i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I forgot how hot balto sounded
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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