I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Randomize