I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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