we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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