My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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