i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
