Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
