Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
