good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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