Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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