Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Randomize