also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
