So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
Randomize
