i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Randomize
