he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Do you know how close I got to throwing him over the edge of the canyon?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
If you fucking touch my phone and text people, drunk or sober, ever again, i will shove a swizle stick up your pee hole.
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