I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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