I have demons in me.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
