Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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