No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
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