im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
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