I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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