planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
