If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
