ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Your penis caused this!
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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