Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
Be still, my beating vagina.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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