I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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