HIV tests are more positive than that guy
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
