D3 body, D1 cock
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Randomize