he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
