shes about as inviting as chlamydia
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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