Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
