Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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