I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
