Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Randomize
