Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
