Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Randomize
